Family gifts to surviving spouses

Bob · Post by **Bob** » Fri Jul 04, 2003 4:59 am

One of the customs in my family (at least in my father's generation) was to make a monetary gift to the surviving spouse very soon after the death. In my family, the six brothers (another brother and a sister died in childhood) would pass around an envelope, and each of them would put whatever cash gift he could afford into the envelope without looking at the contents. The entire amount was given to the surviving spouse (always a widow in the case of my family), and none of the brothers ever knew what any of the others had given.

I like this practice because it represents a sort of family solidarity (in my family's case, six brothers acting as one) and mutual support, with no one seeking to take credit for an individual gift, and no pressure to give more than one can afford.

I would be very interested to learn whether this is a custom that is unique to my father and his brothers, whether it is shared by other Asturian families here and there, or whether it is a common practice in Asturias or among Asturians who moved to the US.

Bob Martinez

Suronda · Post by **Suronda** » Fri Jul 04, 2003 9:01 am

Bob,

Your story about family solidarity especially during difficult times, in this case a death, brought back a memory that isn't focused on family, but on the larger community. When I interviewed some Asturian women in West Virginia, I learned about what they called "subscripcion" or a sort of collection. It sounds simliar to what you're decribing. In one instance, a family lost two (or perhaps it was three) daughters to TB. The Asturianos in the community began to collect for the "subscripcion," each family contributing what it could to the envelope which was later presented to the family.

I wonder if non-Spanish families might have also contributed? I'll have to see if I can find out.

While Asturianos in West Virginia didn't have the kind of formalized mutual benefit societies like the community in Tampa, it seems that they offered financial aid to their neighbors when they were able, and that they created their own informal support system.

Bob · Post by **Bob** » Sun Jul 06, 2003 3:12 pm

There was a "Spanish American Friendly Society" in Niagara Falls when I was young, to which my grandparents belonged. In West Virginia, when someone was sick or injured or otherwise out of work, all the other wage earners were was expected to kick in to support the family until things were better.

Bob Martinez

Post by **Art** » Sun Jul 06, 2003 4:42 pm

I have split this topic so that the posts on the Spanish Club could be discussed separately. For the new thread on the Sociedad Benefica Española of North View, WV, please see: http://www.asturianus.org/forum/viewtopic.php?p=484#484