Medicautions
Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 5:49 am
I found this in my e-mail and just cracked up:
(lo siento, pero no puedo traducirlo porque son juegos de palabras):
Newest Medicautions -
(whisper) -side effects with use of all these drugs may definitely occur.
St. Mom's Wort: Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.
Empty Nestrogen: Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing memory thus causing MOM [aka you] to have total recall of how your teenagers almost caused endless turmoil, and total insanity.
Peptobimbo: Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting. (Warning!! Do not use if already taking dumerol!)
Dumerol: Helps classical music lovers loose IQ points, therefore causing one to enjoy country western music.
Flipitor: Increases life expectancy of commuters (especially in California) by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers aka the California howdy.
Antiboyotics: When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.
Menicillin: Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can we have sexual relations now?"
Buyagra: Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.
Extra Strength Buy-One-all: When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Michael Jackson on child rearing.
JackA**pirin: Relieves the headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
Anti-talksident: A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.
Sexcedrin: More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.
Rageamet: When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.
Terechu
(lo siento, pero no puedo traducirlo porque son juegos de palabras):
Newest Medicautions -
(whisper) -side effects with use of all these drugs may definitely occur.
St. Mom's Wort: Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.
Empty Nestrogen: Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing memory thus causing MOM [aka you] to have total recall of how your teenagers almost caused endless turmoil, and total insanity.
Peptobimbo: Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting. (Warning!! Do not use if already taking dumerol!)
Dumerol: Helps classical music lovers loose IQ points, therefore causing one to enjoy country western music.
Flipitor: Increases life expectancy of commuters (especially in California) by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers aka the California howdy.
Antiboyotics: When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.
Menicillin: Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can we have sexual relations now?"
Buyagra: Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.
Extra Strength Buy-One-all: When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Michael Jackson on child rearing.
JackA**pirin: Relieves the headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
Anti-talksident: A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.
Sexcedrin: More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.
Rageamet: When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.
Terechu